Busy- a word that is used as an excuse too many times!

Busy!
What does busy really mean? In 2015 we all are super busy whether one is a mom, business woman, college student, high school student, athlete, whatever you title yourself to be. But when a relationship is important, little insignificant things one fills their schedules with can be put on the back burner so the special people in your life really feel special.

The word "Busy" needs to be taken out of ones everyday language! Most of the time when you ask someone, "How have you been? they will say "Busy," and what does it really mean? Personally,
I am over it. We all have busy lives and the same 24 hours to fill. As adults we choose how to fill it and with whom we want to fill it with.

The difference is that "busy" people constantly feel rushed and unorganized during those hours. I chuckle every time I get a text or voicemail from a friend saying "sorry it has taken me a couple days getting back to you, I have been super busy." Really- in the era of cell phones, texting, email, you can't find the time to touch base and connect. I can appreciate a long phone call is often challenging when cooking dinner, doing baths, bed time routine but driving home from work or to the store- just pick up the phone and say hi. I am guilty of this but have come to realize that too many times I use being busy as an excuse to put something off or ignore someone I do not want to interact with. I am working on changing this behavior and addressing the issue face on.

When a friend or family member constantly gives me the excuse that they have been too busy to touch base with me, it really hurts my feelings. I have a lot going on in my 24 hour day and make time to reach out to the people important to me. One of my "supposed to be friends" always gives me the excuse she is just too busy to get the girls together. That has never been an issue before so what has changed? As an adult and mother, one should be responsible enough to address the issue and stop the excuses that are hurtful. Life is too short to let "things" get in the way of precious friendships. Friendships are important in life and need to be nourished to grow and stay healthy.

Get a grip, make some tough choices and calm down. There is a huge difference between a busy day and a full day. A busy day is crazy and ineffective.  A full day is planned and productive.

Prioritize.  What do you want in life? Life is short so keep you list short and sweet. Stop making the To-Do list. To-Do lists pile up and add to the day to day craziness. As adults we have to make choices. This means admitting that we are human and cannot do everything and deciding to make time for what is most important. By scheduling your day with unrealistic To-Do lists, you are not taking control of your life. 

Say no. This is often very difficult since we do not like to hurt other people's feelings. But to do something well, one must be focused. Your focus needs to be clear with home, family and work as the top priorities. Whenever someone asks you to do something, be ready to say no. You do not have to always say yes to everything you’re asked to do.  Establish your priorities and stick with the plan. 

Realize you are addicted to being busy. Busy is an excuse and gives you an "out" to ignore parts of your life that need the most attention. Friendships need attention not the excuse "I'm busy." That is a lazy cop-out to avoid an issue that may be going in with the relationship.  Be an adult and deal with the real issue instead of making excuses. A lot of people think busy means important. When busy actually means out of control.  A busy day means unorganized and crazy. A full day means planned and prioritized. Important people have full days, not busy days, because important people can’t afford to be out of control.

In order to have your day be focused and flow, you must change the way you talk and not use the word "Busy."  When someone asks you, “How are you?” you will have something more interesting and engaging to say than “Busy.” You can be honest if your day has been overflowing but use the term "Full" not 'Busy" and open up the conversation to discuss what all has been keeping your 24 hours full. 

How one word changed my outlook on life!

One word "cancer" has changed my attitude, priorities and outlook on life. 

This past year has been a world wind of emotions and has changed my outlook on the way we live, friendships, how we spend our free time and the people we choose to open our hearts to.  I have been struggling with the pain of both of my parents having cancer.  

My mama, who is my rock, best friend and biggest cheerleader was diagnosed with Stage 1 adenocarcinoma (non-smokers lung cancer). Just the word "cancer" sent chills through my entire body and caused me to be very depressed. Everyone I have known who has had cancer have passed and the thought of losing my mama, Lexi losing her YiaYia, was too much for me to process. All I wanted to do is sleep, I didn't have any energy and the only bright ray of light was my sweet daughter.  Mama's wonderful team of doctors at the Mayo Clinic didn't waste anytime and performed surgery to remove the spot and a portion of moms right lung. Surgery was a success- all the cancer was removed and it did not spread to any other organs or her lymph nodes. Thank you Lord.  I was coming out of my dark cloud that had zapped my energy and started to refocus on getting back in shape and new hobbies with Lexi.

Then another blow hit our family, my daddy was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung and liver cancer. His oncologist gave him 3-6 months to live and being 3000 miles away is so difficult. The dark clouds returned and I fell into a deep depression. Every ounce of energy I have goes towards being the best mommy and wife I can be along with cooking, keeping the house clean, doing the laundry and trying to rehab my shoulder.  The exercise classes I teach are a great relief of stress but remembering all the little insignificant things on a daily basis isn't happening and my lists pile up on the passenger seat of my mini van. My weekly moms group (WTG) is wonderful and I feel like I had a huge shot of espresso after a couple hours with the amazing women and our fearless leader.  

I struggle with the thought of losing my parents although I know it is the reality in life. These 2 people fell in love, brought me into this world, gave me an fabulous life and have loved me for 45 years unconditionally. I am trying to come to terms with losing my daddy within the next few months and I have been writing a journal of all the things I want to say to him before I lose him. When we talk I tell him some things, talk about great childhood memories and thank him for being a the best daddy. Since we are so far away, I face time with him so Lexi can see him and visit with him. Listening to my sweet daughter talking with her Papa Rog warms my heart!

These painful situations have greatly changed my outlook on life. My family is the most important thing in my life. My husband and I have both chosen to surround ourselves and our daughter with the people we love and true friends. Our time on this planet is so precious and one never knows when the end will come. With this, we have decided to live life to the fullest each and every day, create memories with family and friends, give back to others and most importantly be kind.  

I am a type A personality and have always wanted to take control and be in control but this has softened me and I now choose to roll with it and have a more relaxed attitude. The days of drama, friendships that were more tears than joys, being used by others for their selfish needs/agendas and working long hours for the bigger house or fancier cars are gone. Time with loved ones and being happy is our goal. This has also helped our marriage and brought us closer as a couple along with being better parents in raising our daughter to be a kind, loving, caring, smart woman.

I am scared about losing my parents and the unknown but I try to wake up each day happy that I indeed woke up, try to rise above the dark cloud, surround myself with loed ones and genuine friends and be the best I can be. 

Love your parents, children, spouses, be kind and appreciate each and every day because you never know what tomorrow will bring.